One method to writing new material is to simply ‘rant’. Rant about anything. Pick a topic and just go with it. This can typically be done out loud or by simply writing it down. Nothing needs to make sense and nothing needs to be funny. Just let loose. Ok, here it goes…
Billy Crystal’s character in the movie, “When Harry Met Sally”, had it right when he said;
Harry Burns: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
With those quotes, Harry Burns nailed it on the head! He also gave insight as to how creepy men really are. All men play the ‘friend’ card. That’s right, ALL MEN! I don’t care if you’ve had a guy friend for over twenty years! If you’re attractive, he’s always welcomed the opportunity to get a crack at you! Men can be that patient. They’ll wait til the end of time. This ‘friend’ of yours knows you better than anyone. He’s been there when you suffered the worst. He’s been there when you broke up with the love of your life. He’s been there when you’ve shared your deepest darkest secrets. He knows you too well. And he’s hoping that one day, you’ll see the you’ve shared EVERYTHING with him except…. a more intimate experience. All of the time and effort he’s put in to you is not done in vain. Ever notice how upset he gets when you seem to be making the wrong choice in men? Of course he’s upset! The only choice he knows you should make is him! He’ll listen to your most intimate of details of your experiences with other men and he’ll pay attention to the minutest of details. Yes, it pains him to hear how you were seduced and what incredible encounters you’ve had, but he’ll remain attentive like a trooper! He’s seen you at your most vulnerable and he’s been hoping that you’ll give in to him if at least only once. Oh, he will never make the first move. NEVER! But he will NEVER, EVER, EVER, refuse any advances you may ever make on him. He’s been waiting all that time so, waiting a little while longer won’t hurt things.
So, Omar, are you saying that no ONE of my guy friends is really and sincerely ONLY my friend? They all want a piece of me? Again, I’ll defer to another of Billy Crystal’s quotes as Harry Burns, during an exchange with Sally:
Ah, the Male Species in it’s rawest of forms! And before you try to take Sally Albright’s position that Harry’s theory cannot be right, remember, she ends up with Harry at the end of the flick. Chalk one up to the Ace up the man’s sleeve… the ‘Friend’ card!